What's good in a 'Diagnosis'

“You’ll get over it, just give it time.” “You’re not trying hard enough.” If you’ve ever heard these phrases while struggling to keep up, you know how invalidating it feels. When people say, “It’s all in your head, just take control,” it feels like they’re stealing your right to feel. It is a fact that 'IT' is not your head and many things are at play.

Physical illnesses are often visible and easily recognizable by others and even ourselves. However mental health issues are different, harder to see, to understand, and to accept. Like how your college degree explains your skill sets and the struggles you went through for 4 years, a diagnosis offers validation and provides a clear way to describe your experiences. It gives you the space to function without the constant pressure to "just get over it." Imagine being a student with big dreams, but struggling to do the bare minimum. you may be labeled 'LAZY' without a split second given to the burnout, depression, or anxiety that might be at play. A diagnosis may offer a form of freedom, reassuring that there are other factors at work and that the struggle isn’t a sign of weakness or laziness.

Accepting a diagnosis isn’t always easy. It can be difficult to come to terms with the idea that you may be different and you might need help. When a hockey player is recovering from an injury he/she needs time, care, and support to heal. Similarly, therapy, medications, and psychiatrists are there to help you get back on track. It’s important to remember that You are not your diagnosis. it’s simply only one part of who you are.

While some people walk on eggshells around the idea of a diagnosis, some use the diagnosis as an excuse to not deal with life’s stressors. This is beautifully explained as an unconscious psychological game called the 'Wooden Leg' where a person may hold on to an illness to continue getting the benefits that it brought when originally had. A client once came to the therapy room with vomiting and anxiety as her concern. She could not eat well because of her vomiting. She tried different doctors and medications, but nothing worked. Later it was found out that her vomiting was keeping her safe from uncomfortable conversations and she held on to it as a coping mechanism. So even when there was no biological need to puke, she did, to get away from ugly conversations. This intertwined the biological and psychological struggles making her everyday, stressful. 

As we speak about those going through psychological and biological struggles, some use a clinical diagnosis casually, almost as a form of fashion. You might hear some say, “My ADHD won’t let me focus,” or “My anxiety won’t let me do that.” This trend can contribute positively by helping to normalize mental health discussions and reduce the stigma that often surrounds these issues. However, there’s also a significant downside: by frequently associating themselves with a diagnosis, people may unintentionally start to internalize these labels, seeing them as defining aspects of their identity. This can create self-imposed limitations, where they believe that their condition inherently restricts their abilities or prevents them from trying new things. Moreover, many of these diagnoses are self-assigned rather than professionally confirmed. This not only risks trivializing the challenges faced by those with clinically diagnosed conditions but also makes it more difficult for individuals with genuine, professionally diagnosed symptoms to speak about their struggles. They may feel invalidated or overshadowed, as the casual use of these terms can dilute the seriousness of their experiences, making it harder for them to seek the understanding and support they need.

There are a lot of ways one can see and hold on to a diagnosis. To those who are struggling, and to those who wish to support others, it's crucial to remember that countless resources are available in this world. You may still be tempted to use your old and faulty coping mechanisms and stay in your comfort zone. Go on and find more resources, keep moving and upgrading yourself. even through failure, just the movement toward finding resources can help you find better and healthier pathways. Mental health is not a race between people. Everyone will have their own pace. So, run the race against yourself. Struggle to be better for yourself and no one else.